Profound conversations with my 5 year old baby girl.

I would never normally reblog this but the loss of a baby is very close to my heart. I lost my first born when he was 3.5 months old and sometimes i too fear that he might disappear from my memory.


As a recently bereaved mom, one of my fears is that, as the years go by, the memories of my baby girl may begin to fade. I hope to remember everything about my baby ….her likes , her dislikes, her cute mannerisms, her know-it-all attitude, her saying “I love you too mom” ….just to name a few things. But I know it’s only a matter of time. New memories will take the place of old ones and the old ones will tend to fade. So writing has become very important for me. If it’s all written down somewhere with all the nitty-gritty details, I know I can read it for years to come and know that her memories are intact.

These days I find myself trying to recollect our conversations with her during those last 12 weeks of her life.Yes those memories tend to bring tears to my eyes …….However…

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. f says:

    Hey,Janice. I am a friend of Noella’s who quite randomly ended up here. We also seem to have many common friends. I went to Xavier’s but left after Junior College, though I graduated in Life Sciences from Jaihind in 1999. I enjoy your recipes and the writing that goes with it. I commented on this link because I read this article a few days ago and it broke my heart. To see it here again and realise you have been through the loss of a child breaks my heart even more. I lost my second born in May last year. He was born prematurely and was in Intensive Care for nine days after which he died. Memories from those nine days fill every corner of my mind and I hold on to them desperately, lest I forget. I don’t know what happened to your son but I hope time dulls the pain. You seem to have another little boy who seems gorgeous. I wish you and your little family well. – Faye

    1. I have no words. When someone tells me they have lost a child I am reminded of my Alistair. He was a premie too but a fighter who died because of milk aspiration. Happens to one in thousand children. He was 3.5 months old good looking boy and very healthy. One Friday morning he left me and went away just like that. I can’t get over the pain even to date. I relive him through my second born Aiden. I am sure ur baby and mine have met each other in heaven. I wish you well too.

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